SELF-FOCUS.
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, growing up, I had a very close family. One family member in particular was my “favorite”. Uncle Rick. He was more of a friend than an uncle. We spent most of my childhood together, doing anything from playing video games at the local arcade, to going to monster truck shows. He would buy me toys, take me out to eat, take me riding ATV’s and even let me watch movies I wasn’t allowed to watch at home. I loved him and we had a lot of great times together, even into my late 30’s.
I didn’t know until later in life, but he had been born with some major medical issues dealing with his bladder and kidneys. He was in and out of the hospital the majority of his childhood and the doctors only gave him a few years to live. While he overcame those expectations and lived much past their estimated timeframe, in 2003 he was told he needed a kidney transplant. My mother (his sister) stepped in and donated one of her kidneys that extended his life another 15 years.
I will never forget the day he passed away. It was around 4:30/5:00 in the evening and I was getting ready to cook when he calls me asking if I could bring him something to eat. I was somewhat bothered by the call because I was focused on getting my family’s meal ready and I just didn’t have time to stop and go get him food. Also, a storm had just let loose and it was pouring rain outside. Yet, despite the imposition (as I thought it was), I asked him what he would like to eat. He wanted a burger and fries from Whataburger. So I get my car and begin to drive through this monsoon to get his food. I would love to tell you that I was happy to do it, but again, the circumstances revealed my heart and it was full of selfishness. I was now wet and holding a bag of fast food as I stood at the front door of his house. I knock and get no answer. As I hear his dogs barking loudly, I open the door and walk in. My uncle was asleep and had forgotten he had even called. He took the food and sat it next to his chair and thanked me. I told him I needed to get back home to finish cooking and that I would see him later. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him alive.
Later that night, I received a phone call that he had fallen and hit his head. He was in the hospital and it did not look good. As I drove up the hospital that night, I asked God for peace and to help me with what I was about to walk into. As I approached my family, they told me that my uncle had passed away.
As I think back about that day, I’m regretful of how I felt. How could my “favorite” family member become an annoyance to me? Better yet, how could someone I loved so much, in need, reveal such selfishness in my heart?
How could I have been so selfish? How did those evil thoughts, filled with self-focus even come to mind? The bible speaks of this in several different passages. Here are only a few.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12
If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
1 John 1:6
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
1 John 4:16
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?
1 John 3:17
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
Hebrews 13:16
But for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury.
Romans2:8
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:23
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Romans 1:9
Let me ask you - is your heart right today? Are you struggling with being self-focused? What about anger or bitterness? The cure is just a repentant prayer away.